


too young to hold on

by newsagogo



Series: spin us a tale, tell us a rhyme [5]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys: California (Comics)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Zones Culture and Customs (Fabulous Killjoys), Zones Religion and Lore (Fabulous Killjoys), i mean... implied that a deaths happened but yknow, kinda??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:53:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28656786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newsagogo/pseuds/newsagogo
Summary: Despite the glamour people try and paint themselves with in the sands, losing people is unavoidable. Can't make loss look pretty.
Series: spin us a tale, tell us a rhyme [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820344
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	too young to hold on

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooo its time for another "nestie throws random hcs cobbled together into a fic and calls it a day" except its sad edition kinda
> 
> who here likes jeff buckley cuz i did just grab a lyric outta Lover You Should've Come Over.

Let me teach you how you mourn, out here.

First off - lose someone, permanently. Don't have to be anyone specific, just someone important to you. You aren't gonna feel it at first, not like you would a natural loss. You don't get that kind out here. You're gonna lose Someone in a fight and you aren't going to feel that loss until the dust clears and you drop _off_ that adrenaline high like the junkie every zonerat out here is to survive and you drop _down_ to your knees as it hits you they aren't getting back up. You done that? Good. That was the easy part.

Next off - you see that body (if you're lucky) or the space where they were (if you're not)? You ask it to move. You beg. You plead. To whoever - whatever is listening. God, mortal, droid, flesh, Witch, DESTROYA, the Director herself - you cry and wish and scream for something to give them back. They won't. Most second chances come in the form of reaching the desert - third and fourths are hard to come by. Your person won't come back, and now you must act. That was the easy part.

Now, you continue - you need to send them off. This is personal. The lucky ones have a body or a mask or something holding the soul that can be left in a mailbox, or burned, or left for the carrion birds to deliver. You'll do this part as soon as you can stand, no need for me to tell you how. You'll know when it happens. You are saying your first goodbye - this one's the easiest.

This bit might not happen - should the right station be on at the right time. You have to break the news. Don't matter if anyone else did or didn't see it happen, that anyone else was or wasn't close with them. Gotta break the news. It's more about letting people know there's been a loss, that there's a gap in the noise now. 

This bit will happen no matter what - people will crowd around you (but never too close, just in case). They tell you platitudes and mutter blessings your way and gently insist you stick around because you shouldn't be alone. They're trying to make sure you don't follow too close. You might hate that, but believe me. It's the biggest kindness they give you. You won't get a moment to yourself once people hear and that is a good thing. Let it keep you busy until nightfall or whenever the people around you suggest you go rest.

This is when you wait out the feeling that it's all a bad dream you'll wake up from once you sleep. It never is. Losing that feeling is the easy part.

And then... And then, well. Now you've got some personal ghosts. You're haunted by reminders of them pretty much everywhere you go, but that's normal. Remember that. You might start avoiding places - might never feel at peace in 'em for long ever again, but that's okay. You gotta find a new normal, one where you learn how to be yourself without them. This is the easy part. This is the mourning. We all have to, nothing is untouched out here. And knowing that? That makes it the easy part. Tomorrow's a new day, and Better Living don't take holidays.

As for after? You could leave whatever crew you were in. Or not. You could join another crew. Or not. You could just… do anything else. Or not. But you'll have people. Meet new ones anyhow. Might even grow as close as you did before to some. That's called moving on. It's an easy part. And it's a natural part of these Zones, can't let anything stay stuck in it's own ways for long - that includes the people.

... What's that? I've said it's all the easy part? Well that's 'cause it is in the end. You wanna know what the hard part is? Really?

The hard part is knowing it's gonna happen again, and that it might get even easier each time it does, and maybe even one day you'll forget why some of those colours make your heart ache. The hard part is knowing you'll _stop_ questioning the loss someday.

Try not to forget.

**Author's Note:**

> despite the fact most everything else i write is just "what if we vibed (bright colour edition)" um. i have thoughts sometimes I swear. anyways back to radio fic drafts now <3


End file.
